Dear President Obama,
(How cool is that!)
I usually do not give advice to real live Presidents, however I feel like there are things you definitely need to know about because I care about you and your family.
I discovered pomegranate schnapps and Malibu mango rum on election night. Very, very delicious.
I also discovered Malibu Banana rum on election night. Not so good. Do NOT forget this. (Unless you love fruity drinks that taste like banana laffy taffy. I personally do not.)
Do not ever shampoo your hair with Head and Shoulders dandruff shampoo if you have DRY scalp. Duhhhh. It'll make it worse. Moisturize your scalp with a good conditioner instead. You'll be a happy camper! You can tell Michele about this little hint if you don't mind her hair looking better than yours. (And it does...sorry.)
Helpful Hint: Banana baby food is a wonderful conditioner. It's cheap and it works. Plus if it happens to drip in your mouth, it won't kill you. It's all good!
Also, argyle socks are NOT cool. They do not look good on anyone. Seriously. If you happen to like argyle socks...gah...there's no way you'd like argyle socks. What the hell was I thinking?
Ooooh. Here's a biggie.
Do not ever go hunting with Dick Cheney. He claims he is a lousy shot. I know better. He will swear he was duck hunting and shoot your face off. So no hunting with Dick Cheney. EVER.
Last but not least, (no advice, just a teensy weensy favor) could you please do something about that Presidential theme song possibly before your inaugural ceremony? For gosh sakes, that tune is so creepy...and it's old. Too damned old. I'd totally be willing to become your Secretary of Funk if, of course, you think you need one.
We'll pick a good song.
Something lively.
Something with soul.
Like you. You care. You really really care about this great nation. And it's people. All of the people. I see it in you. I see it in your wife and your children. Soul. Yep. Ya'll got some serious soul and that is uber cool. Elvis had serious soul, too. Not many people have serious soul.
I think you have everything else of importance covered by yourself like getting the economy back on track, investing in early childhood education, funding our schools, alternative fuels, health care plans that are affordable, and maybe most importantly to me--supporting women's issues.
You're going to be a great President!
Your friend and advisor,
(even though I come from a backwards state who doesn't learn its' history, thus keeps repeating it over and over again)
Shear
XOXOXOX
Cheater glasses - November 20, 2008 Don't mess with my iced tea - November 18, 2008 Happy Birthday Danny DeVito - November 17, 2008 Mrs. Beasley - November 13, 2008 foot ailment - November 12, 2008
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