This has been eating me alive for almost a week so I'm gonna purge here. Maybe it will help and maybe it'll make things worse. I don't know but I have to try. Please, if you have a weak stomach, stop reading. Seriously, I mean it.
V2 worked with me for 15-16 years. She went back to school to better herself and her family a few years ago and plunged herself deep into her studies. Everything and everyone was put on the back burner...including her job. We tried to cover for her as best we could but she just didn't care about her job anymore. I hated to let her go, but it was the best thing for her at the time.
She did eventually apologize for the way she treated us and her customers and we accepted. No hard feelings. It was hard work, but we made it through the rough patches. We all were determined not to let our friendship go.
Having said that, V1 and I attended her ex-husband's wake last Tuesday night. We went to support v2 and their daughter. We know her extended family as well as his. It was an emotional time for everyone. I mean how often do you actually know someone that was senselessly murdered?
His body had been sent for an autopsy in another city. His daughter had to give the ok to have his body embalmed. I remember this quite well because she is only 13 and I remember thinking that she was having to make adult decisions at such an early age. I felt for her.
I don't know what went wrong. His body reeked. It was horrendous. At first, I thought the odor was coming from his mother. She is wheelchair bound after having had several strokes. I thought that her family was caught up in the grieving process and had not noticed that she was in need of changing clothes...if you know what I mean.
Not many people could stay in the parlor. It was that bad. A good friend mentioned the odor coming from the parlor and said she thought maybe it was coming from his mother, too. I told her I was going to suck it up and just go get her and clean her up. I figured she would be grateful that someone noticed and cared.
I walked toward her and bent down to hug her neck and whisper in her ear that I was sorry about her son. I soon realized that the odor was not coming from her. It was coming from v2's ex-husband's body. Oh my God. It was horrifyingly putrid.
The odor was so bad that I talked to the funeral director about it. He told me that after the autopsy, the body was supposed to have been embalmed. Their funeral home didn't do the work but they had paperwork to verify that it had been done. He seemed to think that we were all smelling "the diabetic smell". No, we were not. I told him that I had done lots of work at all the funeral homes and I'd never smelled anything that bad. Ever. He mentioned that the gunshot had most likely penetrated the colon and stomach but he wouldn't know that until the autopsy report was finalized. All I know is that his body smelled rotten. Worse than that.
Someone placed a candle near the casket and lit it, hoping to quell the odor. The guy that did it told his family he wanted to light a memory candle for their son. Vanilla bean and rot. That didn't work. In fact, it seemed almost worse.
The funeral director went in the parlor to speak with v2 and came back. He said he did notice a bad smell. He seemed to think the body was decaying faster because v2's ex was a large man...with diabetes. He also said he thought the body had not been asperated properly during embalming. I didn't ask anymore questions. I didn't want to know details. I just wanted to know what to do to stop the smell.
Poor v2 came up to me and V1 and asked if we had noticed an "odor" from the parlor. She said she knew he was decomposing. He smelled rotten. She hated to think that everyone would remember him rotting instead of other things. V1 asked v2 what she wanted to do about it. She didn't have a clue what to do. She said if they closed the casket, that the odor would still be there.
She finally asked the funeral director (who had wandered up to ask her a few questions) if she were to buy a few car air fresheners (what we call Christmas trees), could he discreetly place them in the casket with the body to help with the odors. He hesitated then said that something was going to have to be done because it was getting really bad. They had the ventilation system going wide open and all it seemed to do was circulate the foulness.
By this time, most people were congregated outside. People were coming and going, staying long enough to sign the guest book. Family and friends were gathered in the back of the funeral home where the tables and chairs and food were located. I swear to you that I could smell that odor back there too. V1 and I were completely nauseated by that point.
I wanted to leave. V1 wanted to leave. We couldn't leave v2 there basically by herself to deal with that. His parents and brothers and their wives acted like nothing was wrong. We knew they'd smelled the odor but they were ignoring it. I don't know how. They offered no assistance to v2. They'd dumped this funeral in her lap. He was her EX husband. She had no financial obligation to bury him. None whatsoever. She did it for their daughter.
His parents had told v2 that they were old and couldn't do it. I don't know if that meant emotionally or financially. His brothers and their wives offered no help. V1 and I were all v2 had to help her. V2's mom never showed up. Her dad and her stepmom did finally show up but they were in sad shape. Her father is on oxygen all the time and walks with a cane and her stepmom can barely walk at all.
V2 said that visitation was supposed to be from 5 p.m. until 8 p.m. that night. It was 6:30 when she made the decision to buy his favorite cologne and basically spray half the bottle in his casket. We sent one of his close friends to the drug store across the street to get the cologne. A group of us gals went in with her, held our breath, and huddled around the casket so no one could see what she was doing. She sprayed and sprayed and sprayed.
His mom commented that it was sweet of her to remember his favorite cologne. She said it brought back good memories of him for her. His dad commented on it too. I wanted to vomit.
V2, V1 and I went outside to get fresh air. The funeral director came outside and said the cologne was working so far. V2 handed him the bottle and told him to spray it whenever he smelled the foul odor again.
Then we cried. Alot. In her own way, v2 loved that man and didn't want a divorce. He loved money and maybe he really did love the rich crazy lady too. Both v2 and her ex loved their daughter and she adored both of them. V2 wondered what she'd done in her past to deserve all of what had happened. We told her that she didn't kill her husband, the crazy lady did. Her body didn't reek, his did. She didn't want a divorce, he did.
Then a girl that used to be friends with them showed up. She works for the crazy lady's attorney. V2 said she was probably snooping around for the crazy lady so we quit talking and said nothing while she was there. Absolutely nothing. Strange, her showing up at his wake. Very strange.
I've kept in contact with v2 and her daughter since the funeral. Several members of her church have sent meals to her at a friend's house. I've had them over for supper a few times. We talk about everything except the funeral. We can't talk about that. We just keep that to ourselves, like a dirty little secret.
I've had several nightmares about all of this. I've dreamed his body swelled up and exploded and I've dreamed that the smell followed us wherever we went. I dreamed last night that he had some brown ooze seeping out of his mouth and nose. I want the dreams to end. Maybe writing about it will help. God, I hope so.
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